If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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