fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
