We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
