had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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