we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
nutella sex= disaster
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
