Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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