She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
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