Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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