She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
