I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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