i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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