There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
