She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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