Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
