grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She even gives head with a lisp.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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