i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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