Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
where are you?
Hypothermia
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
