Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
