You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
