you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
