Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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