"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
