I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
