So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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