Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
