How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
