Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
