Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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