whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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