Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
