I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
