Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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