Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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