I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
