I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
