Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
