If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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