laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
