where am i from again
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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