Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
