Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
