Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
