i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
