I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
