no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
