he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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