i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
