the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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