YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
