dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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